Recovering

I'm currently recovering from surgery. An operation became necessary for my health, and I went under the knife on Saturday morning. I am sore, sore, sore.

I've been advised by my consultant, nurses and a physiotherapist that any heavy lifting, strenuous activity or exercise should be avoided for a minimum of 4 weeks, up to 10 weeks. So that throws a spanner in my works! My lovely plan of getting in shape for summer by regular running, long-distance walking and weekly kickboxing is a officially a no-go. I'm still allowed to walk as much as I am comfortable but unfortunately I'm not very comfortable at present.

Of course it is early days, and being told that walking can't do any harm provides some comfort to me in that, when I am feeling more able, at least I will be able to keep a little bit of this fitness that I have been working so hard for. I will be able to go for longer walks as I recover and, though I can't go running, a 5 mile walk three or four times a week should keep me from becoming the total couch potato that I was before I started the Couch to 5k program 5 months ago.

The weather has been so lovely as well - the evenings are very inviting. They almost beckon me forth to scramble out of my little blanket-nest-pit on the sofa, straighten myself down and step outside. Even if it's just one step for now, or two or three... It's something.

I'm back, I'm focussed, I'm good

I finally snapped myself out of it (for meaning of 'it', see previous post). I feel focussed, positive and determinate. I've decided to try not to look at huge, far away goals. I am taking this in sets of 10 days, one day at a time. I now have a chart  on my kitchen wall, split into 10 days (day 1, day 2, day 3 etc) with each day having a checklist. When I reach day 10, I'll start a new chart, at day 1 again. If it's only 10 days, it feels doable. So long as each day I tick off every item on the list, I should continue to make progress, improve my fitness and see a good, steady weight loss. Just one day at a time.

My ticklists contain things that I should be doing, but haven't been strict enough on myself about such as:

Day one

Remember to take medications
Run
Add all food to MFP
<1500 Kcal
NO gluten

Day 2

Remember to take medications
REST
Add all food to MFP
<1500 Kcal
NO gluten

Day 3

Remember to take medications
120minutes walking (brisk pace)
Add all food to MFP
<1500 Kcal
NO gluten

Day 4

Remember to take medications
REST
Add all food to MFP
<1500 Kcal
NO gluten

Day 5

Remember to take medications
Run
Add all food to MFP
<1500 Kcal
NO gluten

....you get the idea. I have a plan. I have the determination to stick to this plan. It should work. Fingers crossed. I'll let you know how I get on.

Random things that motivate me #001

People from my past.

Be it friends I've lost touch with, enemies(!), exes, people I really liked but never really struck up a friendship with or people I really DIDN'T like, I always think, "If I should bump into one of them tomorrow... Would I be happy with the way that I look now?" At the moment the answer is no, but it really motivates me to lose this excess weight so that hopefully one day I'll bump into somebody from my past and I'll be a really healthy-looking size 10 and look amazing. I don't know why this will bring me satisfaction, but I know that it will. On that note, I'm off to get an early night before my 4 mile power walk followed by C25K run tomorrow morning.

Why Run?

There have got to be lots of ways to get fit, right? If you're interested in why I chose running, or you're thinking of starting to run, here are my personal reasons to run:

• Convenience. Running is something I can do on my own, with no equipment required (except for my super cushy springy runny shoes). It is something I can do as much or as little of as I please, or am able to fit in. I am able to make my own schedule, make my own rules, be my own fitness coach. I am able to slip in to my running shoes while my husband distracts our little ones, and be out of the door in 3 minutes before any of them notice. I can be back in 30 minutes, having completed my work out for the day, before my children have the chance to actually miss me.  If I want to run longer, I can go out after bedtime and enjoy the evening air. It's liberating. It's exhilarating. It's freedom. It's MY time. And I own it.
• Running feels good. Believe it or not, once you get past the first few hard runs, you stop forcing yourself to go out the door and you get to a point where you can barely wait to get out there! Running is addictive. It feels good. This is because of endorphins. These little feel-good chemicals are released in our bodies when we run. Endorphins are well-known to help relieve stress (and even ease the symptoms of depression). When I run, I feel good for hours afterwards. More than, 'good', I feel almost euphoric. I feel positive, excited, in control... elated. You've heard of 'runners' high', right? Well, it actually exists! It is a highly motivating influence in getting me out of the door each day.
• Self-esteem. Running helps me to feel good about myself. I am actively doing something to help improve my health and my fitness level. I am tackling my weight problem in a healthy and sensible way. I am in control. I am making positive changes, setting myself goals and meeting them. I am achieving. 
• Me-time. Being a mum of 3 tiddlers, I don't often get much 'me-time'. When I am running, it is my time. It is my time to think about whatever I would like to, or to think of nothing at all. When running I can clear my mind and just enjoy the pounding of my feet upon the pavement. When I am running, my only responsibility is to myself. I do not need to think about what the children are doing, what the house looks like, or anything at all. All I need to do, is complete my run. I love this. This is my time.
• Getting outside. It sounds corny, and maybe it is, but when I run I feel 'connected' in some way. I am outdoors, with the wind brushing through my hair, I can breath in fresh air while my feet tread over dirt or grass, while I run past trees and flowers and birds... Running outside connects you to nature and brings a new appreciation for the outdoors. Corny, but true. You might not realise how much you can appreciate 'nature' until you get out there and experience it regularly.
• Improvement. Achievement. When running, I can set myself goals and achieve them. I can aim to run further, or faster. I can achieve. I can aspire. I can better myself. I can see myself improve. I am limitless. I am free. There is nothing that is beyond my capabilities, I can do anything. Running puts me in a position of power, and shows me just how much I can make of myself. Running is 'me' becoming the best version of myself.

That is why I run. When I started running, my only reason was, "to lose weight", but I discovered that there are much more compelling reasons to get out there and get running. Why don't you give it a go yourself, and find out why YOU run?

Runner's High, Endorphins and Eliza Dusku

I came across this picture when searching for Eliza Dushku pictures for some inspiration. I loved her as Faith in 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', and Missy in 'Bring It On'. I think her body is to die for. She's not crazy-skinny, and shes always looked so athletic and, above all, healthy. I would be a very happy bunny if I looked anything like the above picture - toned and slim.

But it's the caption I love the most.

"I'm addicted to endorphines: good, clean, healthy and free!"

I have experienced "runner's high" myself and can vouch for how good it feels. Why not feel like that every day? It's good, it's clean, it's healthy, it's free - AND it will help me achieve my weight loss / body goals. I think I'll go out for a run tonight. I don't care how cold it is. 

I did it!

I've been attempting the 'NHS Couch to 5k' for 2 weeks now... Today, I finally managed to complete the Week 1 podcast. And it felt easy! I could have kept going - I wanted to keep going! I don't know if that's the thyroxine working its magic, or my persitence and determination finally improving my stamina. Either way, I feel so much fitter now than when I first started out.

My diet is going well. I'm easily sticking below 1600 calories every day. And best of all, I feel good about myself. I've wanted to change for so long now and I'm finally doing it - I'm actually doing it!

So, what do we reckon? Time for progress photos? I think so!

Before:



Now:



Before:



Now:



Before:



Now:



Before:



Now:



I think there is a slight visible difference, but even if I can't see it yet, I feel so much healthier - and so much better about myself! When I started Couch to 5k, only 2 weeks ago, I could barely get through the warm up walk. Today I was able to complete the week 1 podcast, and could have gone on longer! I'm excited to get out and go for my run - I don't feel like I'm forcing myself anymore. And generally, I have so much energy - the horrible fatique that I've been living with for the last year or two is surely fading away...

The scales are testifying my hard work and success as well:

Starting weight:



Weight at last weigh in:



I need to weigh in again, soon. I'll also take my measurements before my next blog entry here and see if there's been any change in the inches!

I feel 100% determined to see this through, and I can't wait to see where I am this time next year.

Running, running, running...

I'm plowing ahead with the couch to 5K. Running.

Running is hard. If I don't have the right attitude I can see myself feeling frustrated and defeated, so I'm trying hard to keep the positive mental attitude. The thing with running is, and I know this from experience, if you stick at it your fitness very quickly improves.

For the last 2 years I've lived a very sedentary lifestyle. I've also put a lot of weight on. I am really unfit right now. Today was my 3rd run in 5 days, using the NHS couch to 5K podcast. On my first run I managed three 60 second runs (just about) with two reps of 90 second walks between and I felt ILL afterwards. My vision was blurred, my head was pounding, I felt sick and dizzy and faint. And TOTALLY defeated.

Still I got out again the next day and managed 2 reps with a lot less effort in terms of cardio and lung-exhaustion. I felt like I could have gone on but unfortunately my legs hurt badly and I had to come home and stretch it out to prevent injury.

I went out again today, after a two day break, and managed 6 reps of runs and 5 walks between. I felt like I hit that perfect balance between pushing myself and sitting in my comfort zone. I wasn't totally exhausted.

I'm confident that either tomorrow or the next day i'll be able to complete the week 1 track. I'll count that as the start of week 1 and I'll move onto week 2 after 7 days of completing the first track. I know that it is key to work within my own limits but I want to push myself enough that I'm making progress and improving my fitness. So far I think I'm managing this well.

A Public Place

The purpose of this blog is to publish my fatty photos, in a totally honest - totally public - way. I hope this will give me the motivation to slim down and tone up!

Presently I am starting out on couch to 5k, weight training and a lower calorie diet in what I wish was my first attempt to lose weight.

After warming up appropriately with stretches and gentle exercises, I went on my first run today using the NHS podcast couch to 5k, which is intended for slobbish couch potatoes like myself. I felt totally exhausted by the end of the 5 minute 'warm up' walk, with burning lungs and blurred vision. Who knew that I was THAT unfit!? I managed 3 reps of 60 second jog followed by 90 second power walk, before I waddled home feeling sore, wobbly and totally defeated. Memories of an obese 15 year old me passing out after level 2 of the bleep test came flooding back...

Still, I am determined not to be beaten. I will try again tomorrow.

Fatty photos to follow.............................................................................................................................