Friday, 20 July 2012

Love Your Body - It's The Only One You've Got!

I'm on the final stretch of pre-wedding weight loss (sis-in-law's wedding, not mine) and I'm really pushing myself. I feel completely back to normal post-op, so I've been out pounding the pavement almost every day. I'm back to running and kickboxing. I smiled sweetly at hubby and got myself a bicycle and I've been walking everywhere, regardless of distance, regardless of having to sling one of my infants on my back when their legs get tired, regardless of weather - my car now lives on the driveway unless there is no safe pedestrian pathway.

And the more I exercise, the more I realize that I don't actually hate my body as it is. In fact, I feel like I'm falling in love with it!

I realise that, far from hating my body like I used to, I now respect and adore it, for it is my body as it is - not skinny, not especially fit, not toned, but - as it is, that powers me through runs, bike rides, long walks and work-outs. It is my current body, as it is, that is transforming me into my future, fit self. Nobody else can do this for me.

Last night I went for a long bike ride. I was overtaken by a 'proper' cyclist and I secretly decided to try to race him... and failed as, within seconds, he disappeared off of the edge of the horizon. It occurred to me then that, to serious runners and cyclists, I must look a bit silly and laughable. (That's not to say that I don't take my own exercise seriously - I do.) I don't mind being an obvious newb. I don't mind making mistakes and plodding along at a fraction of the speed of others who are out on the road: I enjoy riding my classic-looking, squeaky ladies bicycle (think, 'Call The Midwife') and I LOVE running. I might seem slow to others or have poor technique, and I huff and puff a lot due to my anemia, but I am beating my own records and to me it feels like I am racing the wind. I feel powerful and fierce, I feel like I am soaring! The whole world could be watching me, laughing and honking their car horns, and it wouldn't stop me. I've found something I really love in outdoor exercise, and I truly look forward to getting better and better!

Monday, 9 July 2012

Targets and LFCC.

One of the dates I was aiming to have lost a lot of weight by, the London Film and Comic Con, came and went yesterday. I am still over 3stone away from my goal weight. I really wanted to be happy with the photos of myself that I got out of the day but of a total of 20, I've put just 4 on Facebook.

Last year at this event I was 11st 7 and a size 12-14, now I am 13st and a size 16 - but I think the biggest difference is in my face:

Last year:


I had really wanted to get back to 11st 7 by this year, and back to looking like me again. But I have to look on the positive side - when I started trying to lose weight I was 14st 5, and I'm now 13st. I need to keep going!

I'm no longer doing the VLCD for mental health reasons. I'm eating healthily and exercising and I now have a month to the second target date (SILs wedding), and I'm hoping to have lost at least half a stone by then.