Targets and LFCC.

One of the dates I was aiming to have lost a lot of weight by, the London Film and Comic Con, came and went yesterday. I am still over 3stone away from my goal weight. I really wanted to be happy with the photos of myself that I got out of the day but of a total of 20, I've put just 4 on Facebook.

Last year at this event I was 11st 7 and a size 12-14, now I am 13st and a size 16 - but I think the biggest difference is in my face:

Last year:



Now:



I had really wanted to get back to 11st 7 by this year, and back to looking like me again. But I have to look on the positive side - when I started trying to lose weight I was 14st 5, and I'm now 13st. I need to keep going!

I'm no longer doing the VLCD for mental health reasons. I'm eating healthily and exercising and I now have a month to the second target date (SILs wedding), and I'm hoping to have lost at least half a stone by then.

Random things that motivate me #005

 Competition

Although the reason behind me doing this VLCD was to ease my crohn's disease into remission, I have had to keep myself motivated in other ways to break my eating habits and, especially as I have started to feel better in my stomach, I've had to keep reminding myself of the various reasons that I am sticking to this diet - aside from preventing belly ache and bloating. One of the things that has kept me motivated the most this week has been my competitive nature.

My scales have broken so I have taken to weighing in every Sunday at my mum's house. My mum is also trying to lose weight. Last week when we weighed in she had lost 2 lbs and I had gained. The sense of competition and wanting to lose as much as, or more than, my mum has kept me on track this week and I have stuck rigidly to this Very Low Calorie No-Solid-Food Diet (Bar, one or two hot drinks that shouldn't strictly have had milk or sugar in. There have been no major slip-ups.). I am aiming for a really strong end to the week with no drinks other than water and my 3 VLCD shakes a day. I am eager to weigh in on Sunday and discover who has been the biggest loser!

Random things that motivate me #004

Reality:

I felt particularly fat after my shower last week and decided to take a photo of myself to serve as a reminder. There have been a few times that I have been tempted to cheat on this diet, but looking at this photo is always enough to change my mind. I have a copy on my phone that goes everywhere with me and every time that I think about food, I look at this. I am reminded that the only person who I'd be cheating, by eating, is myself. I look at this and I reminded that food is just not worth it. It's not worth it at all...

Random things that motivate me #003

My 'fat face' made on my brothers' iPhone:

Random things that motivate me #002

Summer and Events

The summer is fast approaching. I want to be able to wear shorts when it's too hot for jeans, without feeling that I'm embarrassing myself and my husband or kids.

On top of this, summer seems to be the time when people want to invite you to BBQ's and take photographs of you in their garden. The last thing that I want is photos of me popping up on facebook, that make me wish the earth would open and swallow me up.

I have two events this summer, which I would actually love to be able to get some photographs of myself at that I like. The first is the London Film and Comic Con (LFCC).

Me at the LFCC in the summer of 2011, when I weighed around 11st 7lbs.

Last year when I attended this event, I actually liked the photographs of me that came out of it. I'd love to be able to say the same this year, but I have gained at least 2 stone since then. I have purchased a ticket for myself to be photographed with Anthony Stewart Head, so I really want to feel happy with the way that I look at this event.

The second event that will be highly photographed is the wedding of my Sister-In-Law. I really want to be able to wear a nice dress and feel confident on my husband's arm and in the photographs.

Each time that I think of putting gluteny foods or high calorie junk in my mouth, I think about how I want to look at these events and in photographs afterwards, and it helps me to put the food back down and step away.

Random things that motivate me #001

People from my past.

Be it friends I've lost touch with, enemies(!), exes, people I really liked but never really struck up a friendship with or people I really DIDN'T like, I always think, "If I should bump into one of them tomorrow... Would I be happy with the way that I look now?" At the moment the answer is no, but it really motivates me to lose this excess weight so that hopefully one day I'll bump into somebody from my past and I'll be a really healthy-looking size 10 and look amazing. I don't know why this will bring me satisfaction, but I know that it will. On that note, I'm off to get an early night before my 4 mile power walk followed by C25K run tomorrow morning.